It can’t be about everything.

The problem with starting a blog right now is that I have too much to blog about. I’ve been hesitating to begin for days now because I haven’t known where to start. Do I start at graduating college? Do I start at planning my wedding? Or do I start at the wedding itself, or the honeymoon or uprooting everything I knew in life to move to Chicago and suddenly be a city girl with a husband and a kitchen and responsibility and no job? And what about all the little things in-between that make up a life? The pizzas and movies and conversations and feelings and the fifteen trips to Jo-Anne fabrics for more ribbon, more ribbon and the crying at the stoplight on University Boulevard because of the weight of the loss of it all?

My pile of a life has been sitting on top of my fingers, it seems, barring me from writing anything at all, stopping me short of saying what I mean to say. But, I was washing dishes yesterday, as it seems I’m always doing since we moved in (no one told me there’d be so many dishes!), and I remembered the name of a very special hat that I and some friends gave to another friend once. There is a tradition in the community that I’ve just left to give special hats with special names to specific newcomers to the community. A hat to name and bless. A hat to prophesy. Or, just the hat that felt right. Once upon a time, my hat was named “Bursting Orange Juice Cartons,” foreseeing an exuberance that I had to grow into.

This past hat-giving time, we gave a hat named “It can’t be about everything,” to a friend. It can’t be about everything. It can’t. Nothing can. This blog can’t be about everything. This post can’t be about everything. I need to start somewhere and I can’t start with everything, as much as I’d absolutely love to. It can’t, it can’t, it absolutely can’t be about everything, and thank goodness for that.

So, I will start somewhere. With something. I’m sure I’ll go out of order, backtracking, crisscrossing, shaking up my life to see how the dust falls. But I’ll show you things in time. It will all come together to be something. Not everything, but something. And I think that’s a good place to start.

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